kristin has been a bad kristin
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
you made out with another girl for some wings
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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