Don't you send me to vm
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
