a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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