Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
