Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
