did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
