No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i wish my penis had a tongue
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize
