So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
