I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
People in love make me want to vomit
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
