Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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