I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
