is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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