I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
