Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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