I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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