i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
