I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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