when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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