i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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