That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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