Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
