Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
