So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just forgot I was standing up.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
