he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
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Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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