She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
