it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
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I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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