So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
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It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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