I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
