my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
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i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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