Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
we're so committed to being not committed
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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