ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
