The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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