just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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