Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Alive.
So much puke
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
