Just fell off a train. Bad.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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