I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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