Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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