Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
