he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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