Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
