Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
he just fucked me for my cheese..
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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