i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
