At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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