During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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