My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.