do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
