would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
