He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
