you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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