I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
