well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think people are normalizing furries
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize