Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
