Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
