I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
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