i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
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hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
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Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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